


It Started With A Smirk

by Smuternatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Pining, dean is a shy baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 01:56:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19219246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smuternatural/pseuds/Smuternatural





	It Started With A Smirk

It started the first time Castiel put on something other than a “I’m an angel of the Lord and I’ll smite the shit out of you” face. It was a crooked little almost-smile that made Dean’s heart skip a beat. He smiled back and turned his attention back to researching the monster of the week, trying to shrug off a feeling deep down he knew was trouble in the making.

It happened again when Dean was injured on a hunt. Castiel laid his hand on his bloody ribs and healed a gash put there by a ghoul. He watched as Cas’ hand lingered for a moment before he pulled away. It’s all in your head he thought.

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean mumbled, feeling embarrassed that he needed healing at all.

Then, when Dean thought Cas was dead, it came to an abrupt, unfulfilled hault. Cas was gone. Never coming back. He exploded into atoms in front of Dean’s own eyes. THIS is why he never lets emotions get in the damn way.

It washed over him like a warm summer day, complete with apple pie and fireworks, the day Cas came back. Wrapping his arms around the angel and mumbling “Welcome back, Cas” while telling every cell in his body to hold it together (even though he was falling apart) felt like coming home.

He was 90% sure of it, even when Cas royally pissed him off. Lying, deceiving, going behind his back RIGHT in front of his face. Again with the clouded judgment due to absolute blind devotion.

Dean needed a minute. He needed space. He needed to sort his shit out before he blew his fucking head off. Frustrated, confused and slightly embarrassed, he left a note behind in the bunker.

Need some time is all he wrote. And of course, Sam took that an ran with it. Coming up with half baked ideas that his brother had been possessed or taken by demons, when the only demons that threatened Dean were currently inside his mind. Telling him there’s no way in hell what he is feeling is real or even reciprocated.

He laid on the musty hotel bed staring at the ceiling.

I made it all up. It’s just in my head. He doesn’t feel the way I do.

Dean crossed an arm over his eyes and talked aloud to himself.

“Even IF he did, s'not like anything could come of it. Angel,” he flopped one arm to the side of the bed, “and human,” the other arm peeled off his face and plopped down on the other side of the bed. “Doesn’t mix. Fuck,” he sighed heavily.

His ringing phone broke him out of al his solo rant. He picked it up and squinted at the name.

“Didn’t you get my note,” he grumbled.

“Dean what the hell! I’ve been trying to reach you for TWO days!” Sam yelled.

“Again, didn’t you get my no–”

“Yeah I got your damn note. ‘Need some time’? What the hell is going on, Dean?”

Dean pinched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s Cas, Sam.”

The line was silent for a long time.

“D'you wanna talk to him? He’s been freaking out Dean. It’s been tw–”

“Two days, yeah I know how long I’ve been gone, Sammy,” he barked. “Just needed to think shit through before I said anything to him.”

“And how’s that goin’?”

“Not great,” he admitted.

“Dean, at least tell me where you are,” Sam pleaded.

Dean sighed. “Shit hole of exit 42. Grand Street motel.”

“…..ok. Just…We–I just wanted to make sure you’re ok.” Sam let out a deep breath.

“Tell Cas to wait a minute before he flaps ov–”

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes closed and exhaled hard.

“Sorry,” Sam whispered.

Dean hung up the phone and turned to face the invading voice.

“Hey, Cas. Why don’t you si'down.” He patted the bed next to him.

“This…seems serious. Are you alright, Dean?” the angel asked while taking Dean up on his invitation.

They sat together for a minute before Dean turned and faced him.

“I’m just gonna come right out and say this, ok?”

Castiel nodded and shifted his body so he was facing Dean head on.

Dean bounced his fist on his thigh nervously. “Kinda a big deal, gimmie a second,” he whispered and smiled up at the angel.

Castiel nodded and placed his hand on Dean’s, which totally short circuited his brain. He looked Cas in the eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’ve been thinkin’ about this alot. Basically ever since I’ve known you. Ok, well not right away, y'know. But the more I got to know you, and the longer you’ve been in my life, it’s only gotten bigger. And stronger. I dunno why I haven’t said anything sooner, probably cuz I’m a chicken shit when it comes to this stuff. But if I don’t say it now I’m going to lose my mind.”

Dean finally looked up at Castiel who was still sitting there, patient as ever. His ridiculously unfair blue eyes giving Dean all the attention he never knew he wanted. He placed his free hand over the angels.

“Cas I’ve been in love with you for some time now. And it freaked me out for a long time. But I can’t hide it anymore, and I really don’t want to.”

Castiel sat as still as a statue, just staring at Dean.

“Please tell me it’s not all in my head, man,” Dean whispered. “I’m goin’ crazy trying to work this out alone.”

Castiel slipped his hand out of Dean’s grasp and placed them in his lap. “Dean,” he sighed, looking down at his hands, “I’m sorry–”

“Shit. SHIT it was in my head,” Dean hissed. He stood up off the bed and paced the room. “What a fucking idiot,” he shouted while running his hands thought his hair.

Two hands gripped Dean’s wrists.

“Dean, 'I’m sorry you had to go through his alone’ is what I was going to say,” Castiel explained. “I know the feeling. It’s–lonely,” his voice drifted.

“W-wait–you—”

Castiel smiled and placed his hands on Dean’s chest. “You know I’m the one who gave you this,” his fingers slid over Dean’s marred shoulder, covering his own handprint. “When I said we had a 'profound bond’, I wasn’t making it up. Dean, I’ve l known since I pulled you out of hell. The moment I saw you was the first time I ever truly felt like existence might mean something to me.”

A broken sob escaped Dean’s throat. He gripped the angels sides tight.

Castiel closed the distance between them, lightly brushing his lips against the other man’s. “I’m in love with you too, Dean Winchester.”


End file.
